Stories the officers wouldn't tell: The Chest
by Irish Story Teller
Summary: A chest suddenly appears on the bridge of the Titanic and sucks in Herbert Pitman! What can the other officers do to save him? Will one stewardess save the day?
1. Chapter 1

Stories the Officers Wouldn't Tell: The Chest

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Titanic characters. They belong to their respective owners and to history. All non-Titanic characters are mine and made by me. I make no money off this bit of silliness. It is written for entertainment purposes only.

Chapter One

That morning had been particularly strange for the deck officers on the legendary Titanic. Someone, sometime, put a large chest against the wall on the bridge. It wasn't particularly fancy or pretty to look at. In fact, the only thing it looked like it was good for was sitting on.

Third Officer Herbert Pitman eyed the chest suspiciously. Whoever was the owner had made sure the sides were decorated in pretty gold leaf wallpaper. The edges that were covered in metal were also gold.

For a minute he wracked his mind to find out if it had appeared out of one of the science fiction novels he had read recently. H.G. Wells never mentioned anything about a chest. Nor did what's-his-name? Nope, not a thing about magical chests.

"You've been staring at that thing for several minutes now. It's not alive, you know," Sixth Officer James Paul Moody said before offering his companion a cup of tea.

"But who put it there?" Herbert protested. Reaching out he gratefully took the tea and peered inside the cup. At least it wasn't that horrible lemon tasting tea that they had yesterday. That drink could choke a goat!

James shrugged. "Maybe Mister Andrews did. You know how he's always walking about and fussing over things."

"Maybe your friends know. It seems Bride and Phillips know everything."

"I wouldn't risk asking them. Jack already threw a drink and made a rather rude gesture at the Marconi machine today. He said something about the creator's hamster…"

"The Marconi creator's mother was a hamster," Herbert corrected. He paused and looked to the younger man who was busy staring off into the distance. Impatiently he snapped, "Stop visualizing it, Moody!"

James snapped to attention and quickly nodded. "Sorry."

Herbert rolled his eyes. He was really wondering about this younger man that stood beside him. "Well, since it's just sitting there we had might as well make it useful."

Shrugging James followed Herbert to the chest to sit down on it. His feet were beginning to ache and he didn't want to waste a good chance to sit down on something. It certainly beat sitting on the floor!

While James felt himself sitting on a rather solid, though uncomfortable chest Herbert found himself pitching backwards. He cried out in surprise followed by a few profanities. It would certainly take more than one Hail Mary to get him out of trouble for those words.

Leaping up from the chest as if it had bitten him James spun around to find his companion gone. For a moment he thought Herbert had fallen behind the chest.

Second Officer Charles Lightoller entered the bridge only to see James bent over an open chest with his backside high in the air.

"If you're looking for your dignity it's gone, James, long gone," Charles said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Pitman disappeared, Lights! He just disappeared!" James exclaimed.

"You mean he's hiding somewhere where you can't find him," Charles said.

"No! He bloody disappeared! We were going to sit down on this chest but he went through it!"

"Uh huh…" Charles slowly replied. Reaching out he put his palm on James' forehead.

"What are you doing? I'm not sick! That chest somehow made Pitman disappear!"

"Are you sure you haven't been getting into Pitman's science fiction collection again?"

James sputtered as he once again tried to explain what happened.

"For goodness sake, slap the lad across the back so he can stop sputtering like that!" First Officer William Murdoch announced. "What's going on that's gotten James so excited?"

"He thinks Pitman disappeared in that chest," Charles explained.

"He did! I saw it!" James exclaimed.

"Did you get enough sleep?" Will asked.

Heaving an exasperated sigh James spun on his heel and went back to the chest. "I'll prove that Pitman disappeared!"

He first tried sitting on the chest and waited for himself to fall backwards and disappear. When that failed he tried leaning back and was finally reduced to standing on it and jumping up and down several times.

"And James' dignity has left him and left no forwarding address," Charles said. "I saw him bent over the chest with his backside in the air."

"What's this about James' backside?" Fifth Officer Harold Lowe asked.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"So James saw Bert disappear through that chest," Harold repeated. "The Captain is going to have kittens! How do we get him back?"

"James has tried going after him but no luck," Will said.

"I can't get down the same portal thingy," James added.

Harold crept forward until he reached the chest. Bending over his dark eyes took a look. He expected to see something, a void, a colorful setting, anything but the peachy-pink colored inside of the chest! "Are you sure he just didn't fall through a trap door in there? Bert could be trapped on the bottom of the chest somehow."

"And he's far too big to be stuck in a false bottom! The man would be crushed if not have suffocated by now!"

After an awkward pause Will said, "Do you think Bert could've gone into another dimension?"

"Oh, not you too!" Charles exclaimed. "First Bert with all his science fiction mumbo jumbo and now you!"

"Hey, it wasn't such mumbo jumbo when you walked through that portal and turned back into a little kid!"

"One time! One time Bert is right about his science fiction stories!"

"Boys! Step aside!" A feminine Irish voice said.

The officers on the bridge all turned to see a stewardess holding a tray of tea cups.

"Mister Andrews told me he heard all of ye arguin'! Men, ye have no idea of how to deal wit' the fairy folk!"

Will frowned but went to the stewardess. "Do you know how to get Mister Pitman back, Miss O'Brian?"

Forcing a smile Mayda handed Will her tray. "I'll be back, gentlemen."

The men were surprised by her actions. This normally shy and quiet stewardess suddenly became as bold as brass. They had never seen this side of her before.

"Do you know how to get Mister Pitman back?" James asked.

"It's not my first time dealin' wit' the fairy folk. I'm surprised Mister Murdoch an' Mister Lowe haven't."

"I have dealt with the Water Leaper. I'm getting it stuffed and plan on mounting it on my wall," Harold replied.

"I still think you could've gotten a leash for it and kept it as a pet," James said.

"Mister Wilde wasn't saying that when it bit his wrist."

Not paying attention to the conversation Mayda was exploring the chest to find a way to get into it. She screamed when she fell forward and disappeared after Herbert Pitman.

The officers stopped when they heard the scream and saw Mayda disappear.

"Do you think we should go after her?" James asked.

"Jimmy has a crush! Jimmy has a crush!" Harold began to chant to taunt his companion.

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"So do you!" James retorted and pointed at the Welshman.

"Do not!" Harold exclaimed.

"She has a nice pair of ankles," Will mused.

"Oh yes, very nice," Charles agreed.

"A nice set of knees too," Harold added.

"Harold Lowe!" Will snapped. "We do not discuss a lady's knees!"

"What? I'm a man, aren't I? You two noticed her ankles!"

"But that's different!" Charles told him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

James was about ready to wear a hole in the floor due to his pacing. He half listened to Will, Charles, and Harold still in their argument when there was a shout from the chest.

"I see nothing! I see nothing!" Herbert's voice shouted.

A pair of hands stretched out from the chest and latched onto the edges. Almost immediately the men gathered around to pull Mayda O'Brian out of the chest. They could see that she was standing on Herbert's shoulders and her long skirt was hitting him in the head and about the face. True to his word he kept his face looking down and to the ground.

"We got you!" Charles said as he grabbed her around the waist before helping pull her out of the chest. As Will and Charles helped Mayda get to her feet James and Harold latched onto Herbert and began to pull. He kept his face tilted downward as he continued to shout that he saw nothing.

"So, what was it like?" James asked once Herbert had regained his bearings.

"The phrase 'tone it down' does not apply there. I met some girl with silver shoes skipping down some yellow brick road and something about a wizard. The flowers are alive there too. They tried to talk and kiss me! I'll never look at flowers the same way again! I think they might even be listening!"

"Did you get to meet the fairy folk?" Will asked.

"Oh yes, that I did."

"Are you their king?"

Herbert made a face and shook his head, "They don't have kings! I'm their prime minister! Miss O'Brian is their queen!"

The other men all looked as if the wheels inside their heads suddenly stopped.

Finally Will asked, "How are you their queen?"

"It's a woman thing, Mister Murdoch," Mayda replied and took the silver tray before departing the bridge.

"I'll never understand women," James said. "Let alone Irish women."

"I've given up a long time ago."

Harold paused, "Elephant in the room. What do we do about the chest?"

"I think we should leave it so we don't anger the fairy folk," Herbert said. "They've got a way of using mind control on people and I think they've got to Mister Ismay."

For the life of him Bruce Ismay couldn't understand why the deck officers were tripping over themselves to avoid him. It wasn't like the fairy folk had told him to harm anyone, but rather to steal all the milk on Titanic so they could have a feast.

Humans!

End.


End file.
